I was in a boarding for a couple of years. Probably the best time in my life. Even though I had a problem with loneliness I enjoyed being there. During night I used to cry without any sound. There won’t be any provocative incident at all. I will just think about my mom, my brothers, my dad who is not with me there. I will start counting all the bad things happened with me just to get the initial threshold to cry.
I guess that is the time when I started believing in illusions.
Since I was reasonably good with imagination I could create a virtual person in mind. I call her “Chechy”. [Means elder sister].
She wore a violet long skirt and long blouse.[ I am not good with the names of those girlish garments]. She had chandanam on her forehead and used to listen to me. I used to cry in her laps.
She used to pat me softly on my head. After sometime I would go to sleep. That was the routine. It was at this point I became familiar with the wet pillow concept.
One day I had an extempore speech competition in a cooperative college near Trichur. That was an all woman college I guess. I was tensed about the competition and was searching for some drinking water. I asked someone for drinking water. She told me to follow her. We went to the staff room where all the lectures were sitting. She gave me water. When somebody asked about me, she introduced me to them as her younger brother. AS HER OWN BROTHER! I don’t remember her face who gave me a glimpse at heaven. That was the first and last time when somebody said like that.
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